Saturday, May 30, 2009

Stop. It.

You know how I've written some entertaining, some deep and some significant stuff here in the blogosphere?

Well, this isn't one of those times.

Nope. This isn't witty, deep or politically aware. This isn't a poke at the moral compass of our fair country. This isn't social commentary.

This is not a request. It's a demand.

Stop. Spitting. In. Public.

When you are in a parking lot, walking down the sidewalk, driving down a residential street or wherever you happen to be, please try to restrain the urge to fire a big, sticky, yellow, warm wad of phlegm and tooth-grit from your gaping maw.

It's gross. If you live in the country and have a patch of land that you spend time on by yourself, please, by all means, turn it into a fetid pool of saliva and throat-snot. However, when you are around people, in a public place, please understand that we don't want to dodge your little germ-ridden stalagmites as we go race into Starbucks - wearing flip-flops.

It should not be your mission in life to build a fortress or sputum around your car door every time you park and get in or out.

To quote your mother: "Were you born in a barn?"

If you were, well then Jesus, you sure as hell aren't there now so clean up your damn act.

That is all.

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