Well, this isn't one of those times.
Nope. This isn't witty, deep or politically aware. This isn't a poke at the moral compass of our fair country. This isn't social commentary.
This is not a request. It's a demand.
Stop. Spitting. In. Public.
When you are in a parking lot, walking down the sidewalk, driving down a residential street or wherever you happen to be, please try to restrain the urge to fire a big, sticky, yellow, warm wad of phlegm and tooth-grit from your gaping maw.
It's gross. If you live in the country and have a patch of land that you spend time on by yourself, please, by all means, turn it into a fetid pool of saliva and throat-snot. However, when you are around people, in a public place, please understand that we don't want to dodge your little germ-ridden stalagmites as we go race into Starbucks - wearing flip-flops.
It should not be your mission in life to build a fortress or sputum around your car door every time you park and get in or out.
To quote your mother: "Were you born in a barn?"
If you were, well then Jesus, you sure as hell aren't there now so clean up your damn act.
That is all.
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