Thursday, February 18, 2010

So, apparently tomorrow Tiger Woods is going to host an invitation-only press conference and tell his story to the world. How great would it be if nobody showed up? How amazingly cool would it be to see one lone camera shot of Woods and his handlers, standing at a podium, with nobody from the press in the room.

It would make my day to find out that nobody cares about Tiger Woods, his infidelity, his squandering of the public trust and his image. It would make my day for a celebrity to finally understand that they are not a reflection of real people; that they are trinkets that we take off the shelf to look at, then put away when we get bored of them.

Quite frankly - jokes aside - I'm bored of Tiger Woods. I'm not just bored of him. I'm bored of what he's come to personify: the celebrity fall from grace. It's old and boring, yet for some reason we continue to tune in to scandal as if we can sanctify ourselves in the bloodlust of public disgrace.

And so, tomorrow when the cameras role, a large part of me will hope to hear stories of reporters shrugging their shoulders and asking "Is that all you've got?". Then, filing out of the press-room, they'll go do something useful with the rest of their day; leaving the gasping, yearning masses to scour the internet for the remaining sordid details of their failed dreams.

Me, I'll do something useful with the time not spent watching Tiger Woods air his dirty laundry; Women's Half-pipe on CBC! See, totally productive and important... right?

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